My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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