I feel great
I just peed on a car
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
