Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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