Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize