dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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