I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize