I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Also, beer. Big fan.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
