I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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