My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
