hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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