dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
