Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
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