I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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