found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I look better un-naked...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize