Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
