Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
