did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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