I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
