Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
