PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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