Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
