you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
