The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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