Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
