Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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