The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
