you would pick up someone in the library
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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