M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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