I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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