and she was petting her beer can
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
