Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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