Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
