sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
