Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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