...so i touched it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Randomize
