I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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