His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
