I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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