She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize