just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
