you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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