if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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