His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
