Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
