Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
