ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
