I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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