never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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