it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
