Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
