Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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