either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
