My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
