When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
