Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize