yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I'm really busy with my period
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