Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
