i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just found puke in my bra..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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