Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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