two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
