just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
