I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
