i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
All I want is dick and wine.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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