Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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