I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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