please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
