this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize