I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
