can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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