Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
my liver is dry heaving
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
