The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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