After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
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