Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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