You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
This is the high leading the old right now
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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